New Year’s Resolution: Think Better

Did you just read that title and groan?  Why do so many of us find talk of New Year’s resolutions so loathsome?  Perhaps it’s because so often New Year’s resolutions are made over and over again (meaning we didn’t really commit to them in previous years).  How many years in a row have you made a resolution to lose weight, eat healthier, spend more time with your family, quit smoking, save money, etc?

A recent survey showed that:

“a little less than half of all Americans make some kind of new year’s resolution, but most don’t keep them.

75% will last a week.
64% will keep them for a month.
Only 46% will ever make it to the six month mark.”

In fact, gym memberships rise by about 30% in January, but actual gym attendance only stays high for a month or two.

The idea of making a resolution to improve oneself sounds fantastic, but having the energy/persistence to follow through with that commitment for 12 months takes considerable effort.  So, why do so many resolutions fall by the wayside so quickly and how can we think critically to make smarter/more attainable resolutions?  Here are a few tips:

• The goal is unrealistic. When I hear someone say that their resolution is to go to the gym every day I have to bite my tongue.  I happen to have a body builder and an athletic coach in my family and even they don’t work out every single day.  Instead of trying to commit to a complete behavior overhaul, try making incremental changes first.  Remember that we are naturally resistant to most change, so just like you slowly enter a hot bath so that your body can become accustomed to the temperature, you should ease in to your resolution.
• The resolution is too general. A resolution such as “Be a Better Mom” is so broad that it’s hard to nail down all of the specific tasks you’d need to accomplish to make the change.  Just like the goals you set for yourself at work, your goals should be specific and measurable.  How do you define “Being a better mom?”  Choose a resolution that you can define and assign specific activities to yourself that will help you accomplish that goal.
• Too much, too soon. If you have more than 1 resolution, that’s probably too many.  Don’t underestimate how difficult it is to make a change.  For instance, if your resolution is to stop smoking, don’t also make a “lose weight” resolution at the same time.  A life changing goal like trying to stop smoking is extremely difficult.  Don’t stack the odds against yourself by trying to take on that task as well as other equally difficult and competing goals.  Most people who try to stop smoking will gain some weight.  You will likely set yourself up for disappointment if you think you can do everything at once.
• There are no milestones. Just a few weeks ago you could hear parents all across the world warning their children to “be good because Santa is watching.”  If a parent tried that same tactic today when Christmas is 360 days away, it would have little effect because there’s too much time between now and the pay-off for good behavior.  It will be difficult to stick to your goal if you can’t celebrate for 12 more months.  Instead, set monthly goals with milestones and celebrate your progress along the way with little gifts to yourself.  This will help you stay motivated and committed to continuous improvement over the next 366 days (unless of course the Mayan calendar is correct).
• No accountability. What happens if you cheat on your goal?  Are there any consequences?  Have you ever noticed that it’s harder to disappoint someone else other than yourself?  That’s why lots of people adopt gym buddies to stay committed to the task of working out consistently.  Skipping a day at the gym when you have a gym buddy means that you’ve left the other person unsupported.  We naturally feel bad about not helping someone else that is relying on us.  That guilt alone might help you stay on task.  Choose a trusted friend to help you stay committed to your goal.  Ask them to monitor your progress, nudge you along when you’re straying, and celebrate your successes.
• Frustration kills hope. Expect setbacks.  It’s difficult for anyone to make a 100% change and stick with it for a full 12 months.  If you slip up, don’t give up entirely.  Accept that you will occasionally fall short of your goal, and be ready to adjust your plans.  Perhaps in March you will realize that your goal of saving $100 per paycheck was unrealistic.  Don’t stop saving money entirely.  Try only saving $50 from each paycheck and see how that goes for a few months.  Some progress is better than no progress.

Hopefully these suggestions will help you stick to your New Year’s resolutions.  What are your tips for successfully setting and attaining your goals?